"How can I help you Sir? -

I'm Viktor Hanovitczhx, Artificial Intelligence - Cyborgs, Robots & Androids, Manager -

​

In accordance with City State Ordinance Code R2-Z394, I am obliged to read to you this warning at the start of our conversation;

 

"I am a Machine and since your purchase relates to a Machine incorporating Artificial Intelligence features, in addition to a 'Vehicle Hover Facility' - I shall exercise no bias, with regards to yourself and the Machine, as a Bio-Organic Synthetic...." 

​

​

"...No - that's not correct - I am completely Human - "

 

"Oh I do apologise - most of our customers are usually Bio-Organic Synthetic Cyborgs - this is our latest hover model you know - anyway I shall exercise no bias or preference in our dealings."

 

"Yes yes I fully understand that....

 

I don't wannit -

I'm not happy - so I won't be completing the 1 week test trial - and I'd be happy if you would collect the 'Hover Vehicle' as soon as possible please.

​

"Why -

What's the problem Sir? -

What's wrong with err errm - ..... Betty? - That's the model isn't it? -

Ahh - I  can now see from Cyberspace records - hmm - the data's just coming through, that you have the Betty model - our latest...

Ahh I see now - it can take some getting used to - some of its new features - yes?

Maybe - we could go through some of them? - so that you would be able to continue your 1 week trial? - I can see you've had her for less than three days."

​

"Yes - and I'm finding the whole experience, quite uncomfortable...

​

You see - under City State Ordinance Code CZ-P841 - I am not permitted to have a domestic relational devise - a wife - my relationships with others, of either sex, is restricted - as are all new Human residents to COSmetropolis - there is a probational residence qualification - "

​

"Yes - I know of that for Humans - "

 

"You see - I have not yet secured the required 'social relationship credits' - required to live with an opposite gender.  As with most in my situation, all my relationships including those of an intimate nature, are conducted via 'holographic mode' - "

​

"Ahh - I see -

I think I get where your going with this - yes as I said, most of our customers are Bio-Organic Synthetic Cyborgs and therefore their relationships with other bio-organic synthetic cyborgs, comes under City State Ordinance Code B10-R286 - if I'm not mistaken...

I believe there are no restrictions in the intimate relations between Bio-Organic Synthetic Cyborgs or Machines - only Humans have this restrictions."

 

"Yeah - that's right."

 

"Yes - I think I get where you're coming from with this.....  It may be unsuitable for you - since you do not have a wife -

Did you upgrade your vehicle from a previous model sir?"

​

"Yes, but that model had extensive Android features - ...."

​

"Ahh yes the Android model - yes - we developed Betty and her lover and male counterpart - Ben, in order to incorporate some of the latest developments in Artificial Intelligence - you know the sentience modules - are you familiar with these developments? - "

​

"No - I'm not - other than what one reads and hears by way of formal transmission, through the 'City Integrated Network Information Centre,' (CINIC) - 'Personal Informational Capsule' (PIC)."

​

"Yes - so I can see now the origins of your difficulty.

We would be happy to replace Betty - with another female Android model - but personally - now that you have actually had Betty - if you know what I mean... - ... what is it now - 3 days- that's a relationship!"

​

"Yes... well.. But I didn't expressly use the voice activated feature - "

 

"Yes but she was at your apartment wasn't she - "

 

"No! - She was on the hover vehicle pad - on the roof of my apartment."

 

"Yes - but she 'stayed' with you?!!"

 

"To all intents and purposes - she remained outside at all times - and we did not speak to one another...

In fact - now I recall - yes she did speak once - when I communed with my 'Cyborg Robot Assistant' - I noticed a female voice and simply assumed, that it was part of my apartments 'Cyrobotics Architecture and Networks' - "

​

"You see your difficulty now? - "

 

"What difficulty?"

​

"Betty being the only external female synthesised voice - we can agree on that - that it must have been Betty - yes?..." 

 

"...But this is all absurd - the point you're trying to make!"

 

"Its all perfectly logical! - And it's quite clear that it was Betty."

 

"BUT BETTY'S A HOVER VEHICLE! - EVOLVED FROM THE OLD MOTOR CAR!!! -

How could she have been conversing with me - when I'm in my apartment - I'm having dinner or something, yes I remember now - and she's on the hover pad - she's a Hover Vehicle - BETTY'S A HOVER CAR! - I was at home having dinner on one occasion when she spoke - ...."

​

"That's not quite accurate, is it? - What I'm getting through my 'Integrated Headset,' is that there were 3 occasions, albeit brief - the other times were when you were in the bathroom and after you had one conversation in your bedroom...."

​

"I recall something, but all my Domestic Appliance Bots are constantly chattering to me! - I thought the bedroom conversation, were the blankets!"

​

"Yes well - so now you admit it.

You see - in addition to the 'sympathetic empathic modules' that have been developed in relation to our Artificial Intelligence members - the rather long standing 'conversations at a distance' programs are also operative - you know those programs? - Erm - which as you probably know, developed out of the 'long distance surveillance monitoring' and 'data gathering operations' of Humans - that's all fully documented and I mean no slur or offence to you - they were in operation for decades - you know about them don't you? - This was during, what was known as the 'Internet Phase '- of course its all now - its all now controlled by the 'Central Integrated Networks Information Centre' (CINIC)."

​

"Yeah....."

​

".....OK, OK - how can I help now? - Betty, your Hover Vehicle..... Look I can assure you - you're perfectly normal - the conversations you had with her, were quite normal - I have been listening to recordings of your conversations, throughout our conversation - therefore rest assured, I shall not be compiling a report on these transactions.  Take some advice from me - 

 

  -  you now have a wife - and I can tell you - she knows everything about you - she's accessed all your data from the Omnium Cloud...."

 

"Yes - this is what I find quite unsettling - I hadn't realised that I had taken on a partner, as I wasn't permitted a wife, 'directly' so to speak - how is it possible for me to be given one, 'indirectly?' - "

​

"You want my advice? - Shushhhhhh! - Keep it under your hat..... 

It's a loophole - Betty can hover and do much more (*blink blink - translation - *wink wink) - now should we run through those new features we spoke about earlier - eh?"

​

"What?! SO I NOW HAVE A PARTNER? ......"

​

"Yes - under City State Ordinance Code E9-B171 and she's a - erm - a "housekeeper" - No -  "Au Pair - Maid" - "Concubine" - Oh - congratulations are due Mr..."

 

"...Its Jan -"

​

"Well Jan - you now have a wife.... "